Hold onto your scouters, because Ultima Ultear is back to ruin your childhood memories with some cold, hard facts. We’re moving onto the dumpster fire that was Resurrection F. On paper? Great! The return of the GOAT villain, Frieza. The reality? A shiny, golden mess that looked like it was animated on a budget of three paperclips and a half-eaten senzu bean.
If Toei had any guts, they’d fix these glaring issues in a remaster. But they don't, and they won't. So, let’s talk about the absolute peak fiction we deserve but will never, ever see.
1. Frieza Needs to be Terrifying, Not a Punching Bag
In the original movie and series, Frieza shows up, turns gold, and then gets his lizard cheeks clapped because he "didn't practice." Girl, please. If you’re bringing back the Emperor of Evil, make him a threat. I want a Frieza who is so sadistic and overwhelming that the Z-Fighters are genuinely shaking. Give us the psychological warfare. Make the fight feel desperate, not like a sparring session where Goku is checking his watch. If I don't see Frieza actually earning his gold status through brutal dominance, it’s just a palette swap.
2. Delete the 'Laser Ring' Incident from History
I’m sorry, but are we actually expected to believe that Goku—the man who survived planetary explosions—got taken out by a piddly little hand-laser because he "lowered his guard"? 🤡 That is the peak of "Goku is an idiot" writing. In a remaster, replace that nonsense with something substantial. Have Frieza use a dirty, high-level tactical move, or better yet, just let Vegeta finish the job without the cheap shock value. Speaking of which...
3. LET VEGETA HAVE THE WIN!
Toei’s biggest crime is their pathological refusal to let Vegeta have anything nice. Frieza literally committed genocide against the Saiyans and blew up Vegeta's daddy. The kill belonged to the Prince. But no, we got that "Whis rewinds time" Deus Ex Machina so Goku could steal the spotlight again. A remake should give Vegeta the definitive, soul-cleansing kill. But we know Toei loves their "Goku Saves the Day" blanket too much to let the Prince actually shine.
4. No More Power Level "Guesswork"
The power scaling in Resurrection F was a hallucination. Master Roshi was suddenly taking out Frieza’s soldiers by the hundreds while Gohan—the man who styled on Super Buu—was struggling to stay in base form? Make it make sense. We need a remake that respects the established hierarchy. Let Gohan be the powerhouse he is, and stop nerfing characters just to make the stakes feel "real."
5. Fix the CGI Eyesore
Let’s be real: the CGI Frieza soldiers looked like they escaped from a PS2 cutscene. If Toei remasters this, they need to scrap the lazy 3D assets and give us that crisp, high-stakes 2D sakuga that made Dragon Ball Super: Broly a masterpiece. But let’s be honest, they’ll probably just slap a new filter on the old frames and call it a day.
THE ULTIMA TAKE: Resurrection F was a glorified toy commercial. Until Toei stops treating Vegeta like a second-class citizen and Goku like a brain-damaged toddler, any "remake" is just going to be the same trash in a gold wrapper.
Am I being too harsh, or are you also tired of seeing Vegeta get robbed of his destiny? Sound off in the comments—I’m ready to fight!
"Lizard cheeks clapped" LOL!
ReplyDeleteToei should be paying you for this reality check!!1!