Listen up, you absolute weebs! It’s your girl Ultima Ultear, and today I’m waking up and choosing violence. We all know the drill: Toei Animation loves our wallets, but they clearly think our collective IQ is lower than Mr. Satan’s power level. With rumors of remasters and remakes always swirling in the abyss of the internet, it’s time to address the elephant in the room—the Dragon Ball Super era is a mess, and the Beerus Saga was just the lukewarm appetizer.
We want a feast, but Toei is serving us stale crackers. Here is the definitive list of things we need that we are absolutely not getting because Toei is terrified of peak fiction.
1. Make Beerus a God, Not a Mascot
Remember when Beerus was introduced and he felt like a cosmic horror? Yeah, me neither, because Toei turned him into a bickering food critic within three episodes. We need a Beerus who is brutal, savage, and genuinely ruthless. I want to see Hakai mean something again. The Broly movie has shown us that you don't even need to show blood if you don't want to. Give us a God of Destruction who doesn't just threaten to blow up a planet because the pudding was mid—give us a warrior who moves with a terrifying, effortless lethality that makes the Z-Fighters realize they aren't playing a game. If Beerus isn't leaving Goku in a pool of his own Saiyan pride within the first ten minutes, why are we even here? Stop making him a comedic foil for Whis and start making him the NIGHTMARE he was meant to be.
2. Give Goku a Lobotomy... In Reverse
I am officially starting a petition to deport "Super Goku" back to the nursery. In Z, Goku was a battle-hardened father who understood the weight of the world. In Super, he has the mental capacity of a goldfish with a concussion.
Toei, give us back the Mature Goku. We want the man who can hold a conversation without forgetting what a "kiss" is or accidentally endangering multiple universes because he’s bored. Developing a character who has "reached his limit" isn't hard—it’s called writing. Let him be a mentor; let him show some gravitas. We’re tired of the "oops, I forgot I have kids" trope. It’s not cute; it’s annoying.
3. The "Not the Goku & Vegeta Show" Special
I love the Prince of All Foreheads as much as the next girl, but my god, can someone else please land a punch? We need the Z-Fighters to actually matter.
Piccolo: Needs to be the tactical genius, not just a glorified babysitter.
Tenshinhan & Krillin: Stop treating the humans like decorative background art.
Goten and Trunks: They are literally the next generation of Saiyans and all they do is give us humiliating fighting and comedy scenes that aren't even funny.
Android 18 & Buu: These are literal powerhouses. Buu is being used as comedic relief and 18 as... NOTHING?
We don't expect Krillin to Kienzan Beerus into orbit, but let them contribute! Give us a coordinated team assault that actually forces a God to put some effort in. If I see one more "everyone stand in a circle and gasp while Goku charges a blue ball" scene, I’m throwing my router out the window.
4. Trimming the Fat (Goodbye, Filler)
If I have to sit through another episode of "Mr. Satan wants to prove the world he is the most strongest man" or some random filler character with a power level of 5 stalling the plot, I will scream. The pacing of the original Super run was like a snail on sedatives. A remake needs to be lean, mean, and high-octane. Cut the fluff, kill the repetitive gags, and give us the sakuga-heavy, narrative-driven masterpiece we were promised (Were we? 👀).
5. Fix the 'Daima' Disaster
Don't even get me started on Dragon Ball Daima. It’s like Akira Toriyama (rest in power) and Toei decided to take the Super timeline, put it in a blender, and press "purée".
Look, I love Super Saiyan 4 Goku and Super Saiyan 3 Vegeta but... The logic is shattered. A remake needs to act as the glue that sticks this fractured franchise back together. Retcon the nonsense, align the power scales, and stop treating the lore like a "choose your own adventure" book written by a toddler.
THE COLD TRUTH: Toei knows you’ll watch it anyway. They’ll give us the same recycled animations, the same "Goku is a dummy" jokes, and more merch-ready New Goku SSJ Forms because we’re all suckers for a new glowing aura.
What do you guys think? Is Toei too cowardly to give us a Dragon Ball series we can take seriously, or am I just shouting into the void? Drop your hottest take in the comments before I Hakai this thread!
That's a spicy take! and honestly, "Prince of All Foreheads"?? Might be the most accurate description of Vegeta I’ve ever heard! 🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDelete